NEVER ASK the check out lady at Wal-Mart when her baby is due!

March 31, 2014

As usual, I procrastinated the other night and didn't get to the grocery store on time.  So, at 10:30 p.m., I ended up at "The Wal-mart".  I was exhausted, was at the end of a round with the flu, and felt like I'd been hit by a bus.  We were having gusts of wind that were about 45 mph and my umbrella had already attacked me in the parking lot.  I should have known that I was not playing with a winning hand by the time that I reached the check-out line.  I did not realize this and did not flip the switch to my mouth.  Sometimes I am just stupid and don't listen to my own inner voice as it speaks to me and begs me to play along with reason.  So, exhausted and now apparently just stupid, I noticed a baby bump and said to the cashier "Oh, look!  (as I pointed to her belly)  When is your baby due?"  To which she replied "I KNOW that you just DID NOT AKS me when my BABY DUE!"  While unloading my buggy, I noticed that her name tag said LaJune.  LaJune is fairly uncommon name, and the only LaJune that I know is my Grandmother's hairdresser who is sixty something, looks like Tammy Wynette, is sassy as hell and chain smokes.  I'd already had LaJune's name running through my ADD ticker in my mind, and it's all that saved me!  I said "What?  NO!  I'm sick, you didn't hear me correctly.  I said "Oh look!  You're name's LaJune!  I have a friend named LaJune!"  She said "I SWEAR you aks me when my baby due?" and looked me funny.  I went on just talking ninety to nothing about LaJune keeping up the rouse that I really did ask her about her name.  Finally, I loaded up and headed out and I heard her under her breath say "I heard her, I know I did."  I am not a skinny girl, and cannot comment on anyone's weight.  This was not a heavy lady- she was probably a size 12- just a standard American gal.   I am really worried about her.  I hope she doesn't have a tumor,bless her heart.

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