Sweetie, Honey, Baby, and....Schmoopie?

May 20, 2014

Remember the Seinfeld episode when Jerry and his girlfriend were into public displays of affection and they called one another "Schmoopie"?  They were completely ridiculous and made everyone around them uncomfortable.  Thankfully, before the episode ended, Jerry chose the Soup Nazi's soup over the girlfriend and we never had to see her again.

Tonight, while checking out at PetSmart, the clerk said "Here Baby, let me get that for you.  Awww, Sweetie, do you have a Pet Perks card?  Here, Honey, don't forget your receipt."  Of all of the things that truly get under my skin, strangers attempting familiarity with me, really just unnerves me.  It seems to be a thing here in Florida.  Since moving to Orlando, it has happened to me three times now.  I never experienced much of this in Birmingham, but here it continues to happen over and over again. Personally, I think it is unprofessional, unless you are a kindergarten teacher, and then there are limits.

Since I don't have a magic wand that makes people disappear or fires them on the spot without having to call their managers, I have decided that the next time that a clerk calls me "Sweetie", I am going to respond with "Geeeeeee! Thanks, Schmooooopie!"  Then, I am going to wink at him or her and blow them a kiss and say "Are you uncomfortable yet?"

Until tomorrow, Schmoopie...

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